FacilitationFlickr

International Facilitation Week, 2014

Photo courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons, Visualpun.ch

Around the world, business and community leaders will be attending conferences and workshops during this coming week, to focus on the power of facilitation.

We are all involved in meetings in our everyday lives, whether it be in the home, in the office, in our community work, in our Strata  Councils, in our crafts and family activities.  Meetings can be charged with emotions, time constraints, budget challenges, political contentions, environmental concerns, legal implications.  As meeting facilitators, we navigate discussions through facilitation skills.  Facilitation is like a compass, moving in the right direction through problem solving, action and understanding.

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Help! I’m Too Exhausted to Be the Mom I Want to Be

This piece by Anne-Sophie Dumetz originally appeared on her blog
Up Your Game

“I feel miserable, but I’m too busy to change.”

These are the words I heard from a mom who was overworked, under-slept, and unable to find a way out of her stressful life.

So, what’s happening here?

When you know you’re not well, and you choose to ignore it, it’s bound to get worse.

So why is resist the change?

When this happens, a piece of you is afraid because changing would mean becoming someone else.
Leaving the comfort zone.  And that’s always scary.

And you’re you now. You’re loved now, so why become someone else?

Because you’re not happy being you.

How do we go from…

“I’m overwhelmed by my life, I can’t find time to sleep let alone take care of myself fully… it feels like nobody cares.”

to…

“I feel at peace with my life and my choices.  I’m rested, energized and
I’m excited about my life and all the wonderful people and opportunities that come my way!”

The answer: It takes a lot of courage, commitment, determination and support.

Because the self-sabotaging voices WILL come up to drag you back into your comfort zone.
I’ve heard them often, and still do at times.

Keeping with the self-sabotaging mentality is also going to keep you exactly where you’re stuck.

And the solution will never be served up on a silver platter.

As you stretch beyond your comfort zone, you’ll hear voices deep inside like this:

“What If I don’t like who I become once I have time to take care of myself?”

“What if nobody loves me as much when I give less of myself to everyone?”

“What if I can’t  become someone who’s relaxed and easy-going and who consistently feels great?”

Valid questions that are all based on the fears of change.
In truth, these objections only prevent you from creating what’s really possible for you… and really being all of you.

They’re a voice inside that wants to keep you feeling ‘SAFE’, and it can be thought of as self-love.

But is it really self-love to put everyone else first, feel constantly tired,
never take true care of yourself and park your dreams until you have time, someday?

Are you really taking care of others by not taking care of yourself? No.

When I did that, I ended up burned out, sick, miserable, unable to show up in my life.

I was robbing my kids of their true mom, myself of my own life and everyone else of what I could really offer.

That voice was not self-love.
It was fear and self-loathing, plain and simple.
When that voice shows up, it’s the voice that says, “You’re not good enough to live your dreams. You’re not a good enough mom. You can’t make it. Not now. Not on your own’.

It’s really easy to feel hopeless and stay stuck.

So what’s a mom gotta do?

It’s a 3-step process:

Step 1: Accept that change is good: It’s the only way to be. 

It’s what gets you from A to B and beyond.

Change is how we got here: From a single cell, into a full-fledged living and breathing human being. It’s what creates butterflies and blooms, effortlessly. Shedding cocoons and seeds, growing wings, stems and petals, without struggle or resistance. Change is nature’s way of growing us into whom we’re meant to be. All we need to do is trust. Lean in and learn to love it and magic will unfold.

Step 2: Thank those voices for their concern, and tell them ‘I’m OK, I’ve got this‘. They’ll learn to quiet. Trust me.

Step 3: Get solid, committed, knowledgeable support you trust.

When you want to change, you’ll need solid support to remind you why you’re doing this in the long term, and to also give you the tools to move forward. To remind you of your beauty.

And remember you can’t change what you don’t see. Lack of clarity is a deal breaker in this process.

You have to get clear on why you want to change, where you’re going, and what’s in your way.

The best place to start as a parent is to identify what freedom blocker is making you feel trapped and overwhelmed. All that’s required is an open heart, good questions, and support to lead you through it.

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PS: I can help you get started on this process now. Apply for a complimentary discovery session now.

 

57-Anne-Sophie-Edit-300x198Anne-Sophie Dumetz helps moms and dads who juggle a busy career and home life to find their freedom again. She’s on a mission to help millions of parents become great at life and parenting, to build world one heart and home at a time as Game-Changing Parents.

Photo courtesy of Justin Van Leeuwen.
http://jvlphoto.com/

 

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Maple Pumpkin Ricotta Cheesecake

Entirely maple-sweetened (don’t worry, we won’t ask you to tap
your trees!) and creamy without the calories. This is slow food
at its finest, folks! You’ll need an overnight to make the yogurt
cheese, and like any cheesecake, this is best prepared the morning
before serving or even the night before (uh oh, super-slow food)
and chilled to reach its most perfect and pleasing texture. Consider
garnishing with a warm chocolate sauce or a couple of slices of
candied ginger. Continue reading

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Hollyhock’s Cranberry Orange Sauce

Meaning in life, and how death can hurt your family without insurance

Cranberry Orange Sauce

Makes 2 cups

  • 1 cup fresh orange juice
  • 1 tsp grated orange zest
  • 4 cups cranberries, fresh or frozen
  • ½ cup honey (or more to taste)This sauce brings zing to any table. Excellent on pancakes or
    waffles, in Almond-Cranberry Thumbprint Cookies (183) or with
    a holiday feast.
    Bring orange juice and zest to a boil in a heavy-bottomed pot. Add
    cranberries and honey and simmer uncovered for about 15 minutes,
    or until cranberries burst and sauce thickens. Serve warm or chilled.
    – Moreka Jolar

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Mindful Communication

Sketch courtesy of Flickr, Creative Communications, Joan Mas

What is Mindfulness?  Throughout North America we are turning to the action of mindfulness in all walks of our lives.  Meditation, Mindful Coaching, Mindful Parenting, Mindful Thinking.  These varied practices are encouraging us all to be mindful in all aspects of our lives to create a more positive experience.

Rebecca Lamb is a long time partner with Hollyhock, teaching us how to use the power of language for positive dialogue.  This month, Rachelle will return to Hollyhock and bring her thoughts and experiences to the classroom around the wonders and benefits of ‘treating everyone as if you were in love with them’.  Mindful Communication.  Rachelle cites a poem by Derek Tasker to set the stage for the program.

I Wonder

I wonder what would happen if

I treated everyone like I was in love

with them, whether I like them or not

and whether they respond or not and no matter

what they say or do to me and even if I see

things in them which are ugly twisted petty

cruel vain deceitful indifferent, just accept

all that and turn my attention to some small

weak tender hidden part and keep my eyes on

that until it shines like a beam of light

like a bonfire I can warm my hands by and trust

it to burn away all the waste which is not

never was my business to meddle with.

– Derek Tasker

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Rachelle Lamb will be exploring in her upcoming program at Hollyhock in Vancouver, 19-20 October.

 

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Photograph courtesy of Flickr, Creative Commons, johnwilliamsphd.

 

 

 

 

Hollyhock exists to inspire, nourish and support people who are making the world better. Our learning centres are located on Cortes Island and Vancouver, BC.